Aonther Opportunity

So, here it is: another new year, another opportunity to take steps to make your life better, to accomplish something great. Don’t be the same person at the end of the year as you are now. What will it be for you? Take some time and come up with one thing that you intend to make happen in 2013. Share it with me. Let’s make it happen. I intend to write another best-selling, full length book.

Be the Compassionate Observer of Yourself

Today, try to be really aware of what you are experiencing. Be the conscious, but compassionate, observer of yourself. Really live each moment in an awareness that today is your day to really live. Big things, small things, it's what your life is made of. Feel good. Bring to mind this awareness as often as you can today. Pay special attention to how you feel in that moment. Once you are aware of how you feel you will be able to decide if that's how you want to feel. That awareness will help you make a choice that results in a little better feeling next time. Start living your life on purpose, not by default. Feel good.

Check out this interview done for "The Writer's Dream". It was recorded last year. It tells my story. Enjoy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVpf18oYHPs

There's More There Than Meets the Eye

There’s More There than Meets the Eye I went to Dunkin Donuts last to get a cup of coffee as I often do. I feel that the caffeine helps me stay awake so I can do some reading or writing. I also just love Dunkin Donuts coffee. Usually either Jorge or Rich is there to serve me. Jorge always has my coffee ready for me as soon as I walk in. Medium, milk one sugar. He always makes me feel good. He works hard, sometimes six or seven 14 hour days per week. I have much respect for him. Tonight Rich was there. He always takes an interest in my talks, asking me where I’ve been recently. He is very well read. One area of interest is Eastern Religions. I mentioned to him that I had just finished a small book by Thich Nhat Hanh which was given to me by a friend. Rich knew all about him having read many of his books. He even promised me that he will bring one of his books in next week for me to borrow. I love getting to know people who work in service businesses. So often when you engage them in conversation they reveal much more going on inside them than we might at first give them credit for. It happens over and over to me. Don’t be too quick to make judgements about people because they might work serving coffee in Dunkin Donuts. Be sure that more often than not, there’s more there than meets the eye.

Two Hours of Serenity

Earlier this week I was making my way from my class that I teach at the DWI Alternative Facility in Yaphank to an appointment in Southampton. I had quite a bit of extra time before my meeting in Southampton, so I decided to stop at the Shrine of Our Lady of the Island in Manorville. I had passed the Shrine hundreds of times before while on my way to the Hamptons. I drove in not knowing what to expect. I followed the winding road in and parked in an area that looked like the place to park. I visited several buildings (chapels)sitting for a few minutes in each to enjoy the presence of God. I then began to follow a paved trail through the woods, around and up a slight incline. At the top was a huge boulder which was the base for a larger that life statue of Mary holding her infant son, Jesus. In front of the statue and boulder was an altar surrounded by many rows of wooden benches. From the back of the area I could see south to what was, I think, the Moriches bay and beyond to the Atlantic Ocean. The place was empty and just cried out to me to stay and be still. I felt as if I were on retreat, just me and the Lord, experiencing each other's presence. The day was beautiful, warm and sunny, which set off the brilliant blue sky, the deep greens of the lush pine trees and the occasional bright splash of yellows and reds of the fabulous fall folliage. It reminded me how important it is to be alone, by myself, with myself and just BE. The serenity I experienced that day will call me back, I'm sure, to seek time to reconnect with my Creator, as I did that day.

Author Luncheon

I was one of 4 authors honored yesterday by "The Corridor" magazine. It was a packed room and all the authors were greeted enthusiatically. My fellow authors were Jean Marie Prince, Ellen Lichtenstein and Ernie Fazio. I got a chance to speak for a few minutes and presented my "Parable of the Mansion", to the delight of the audience. Thanks to Barbara Kent, Publisher and Editor in Chief of "The Corridor". Many photos were taken and I'm sure they're posted all over facebook.

Release that Parking Brake

Many of us live our lives like we were driving a car with the parking brake on...moving but never feeling the ease that living life could and should be.
When we realease the parking brake the car moves forward easily. We shake our heads and wonder why it took so long to release the brake.
Our limiting beliefs are like that parking brake. Once we can rid ourselves of those beliefs that tell us who we can't be and what we can't do, watch out. We'll start living life full speed ahead.

SIMPLE HAPPINESS INNER CIRCLE

Today I am introducing my SIMPLE HAPPINESS INNER CIRLCE. I am so excited about this introduction. It has been in the planning stages for months and finally it is here. It is a membership site for those who want more out of life. Weekly themes and assignments will be the template.
Every Wednesday I send out an "Aha Moment", an empowering thought to lift you up in the middle of the week. This SIMPLE HAPPINESS INNER CIRCLE will be much, much more than just an idea. We will take the concepts and dig deeper, not only offering a new idea, but giving assignments so that members can feel the joy of putting the ideas into practice.
It's all about feeling good all day long. These lessons and assignments will do just that. By putting the ideas into practice members will start to feel good right away. It is the path to conscious, joyful living.
Tell everyone about it. Just click on http://bit.ly/q0JItp.

Sermon on the Mount

As a former Irish Christian Brother I get communications from time to time relating to the state of the Congregation. I've lifted this paragraph from a presentation recently given by Bro. Philip Pinto. He is speaking about the need for a renewed commitment to follow Christ. Here it is:

"For so long we have based our religious observance on beliefs and propositions. We worry about the divine presence and the virgin birth, about the two natures in Christ and the infallibility of the Pope, about Transubstantiation and the Immaculate Conception. But when one reads and reflects on the Sermon on the Mount, the heart and soul of the Jesus vision, what the early Christians referred to as The Way, we find nothing about what to believe but an alternative ehtic, a way of behaving, a way of living life. Jesus was telling us that there was antother way of living life, another way of relating to people, and he called us to change the world from the inside. It is about behavior rather than belief. We are invited to embrace what is truly eternal. And what is truly eternal is love!"

I love it! Love God, Love your Neighbor. I invite you to read the Sermon on the Mount from the Gospel of St. Matthew.

Commitment Opens Doors

I love to play golf. I'm not the greatest golfer but I feel my best days are still ahead of me. My normal score is in the low 90's. I feel really good when I score in the 80's. Over the past few years I have often put off playing to spend time working in my office. This year I decided that I would play as much golf as I could. I made a commitment to follow my passion for golf.

Last Thursday I was playing a round at the Crab Meadow Golf Course in Northport with three friends. I stood at the tee at the third hole, a par three 161 yards long. I pulled my eight iron from my bag (normally I would have hit a seven iron, but there was a helping wind). I struck the ball and it jumped off the club, travelling high into the air flying right toward the center of the green. It bounced once then on to the green and it proceeded to roll slowly in the direction of the pin. It was as if time stood still. I thought to myself that this is going to be a pretty good shot. Closer, closer it rolled until that wonderful moment when it gently hit the pin and dropped in the cup for a hole-in-one! What a feeling of exhiliration! I jumped and screamed with delight at my first ever hole-in-one.

It was witnessed by all three of my playing partners who also gave a whoop-di-doo on my behalf. What a great day - one that I will never forget. I ended up shooting an 89, by the way. It was mostly good except for two triple bogies and a double.

It is my firm belief that the decision and commitment to play more golf this year opened me up to this experience. Not only did I have the hole-in-one, but my business is doing great as well. My time away from the office has forced me to focus more when I am there, yielding very satisfactory results.

What is your passion? When will you decide to pursue it? Isn't today a good day to make that commitment?

The Placebo Effect

The Placebo Effect is evidence enough for me that our mind is a very powerful asset One that that we all posess (http://bit.ly/kBkwBG. We need to start to cultivate the power of our minds. Building the belief in ourselves that we can accomplish a goal that is the determining factor in our success to reaching that goal.
Make the attainment of your goal your dominant thought. Refer to that visual of your achievement often during the day. Spend time in visualizing it during your morning meditation and as you lie down in bed for a restful night's sleep. When the negative thoughts arrive, acknowledge them, but quickly turn to the picture and the affirmation of your success.
Harness the power of your Mind. Check out this short video. Refer to it often. http://bit.ly/kBkwBG

Enjoy Your Own Company

I crack up laughing whenever I hear someone say "I was bored out of my mind".
Why do we feel the need to be doing something all the time?
It's okay to be bored. When we notice ourselves feeling bored, that's the best time to work on enjoying our own company. It's time to reflect, plan, dream,
to connect with our divine side. Notice when you have nothing pressing to do. Sit for a minute or two and just be. Don't channel surf on the TV. Think. Reflect. Consider what you love about yourself. Consider the many ways in which you are blessed. Be happy with who you are.
It's a good thing to begin to enjoy your own company because for many of us that is what old age has in store.

Check out this video and enjoy one of nature's beauties.
http://bit.ly/lYEPZO

Happy Mother's Day

There are many kinds of mothers, just like there are many kinds of people. Most try to do their best. All need encouragement and support. All want the best for their children. Many are underappreciated and misunderstood. See the good in your mother. Try to overlook the unhappy stuff. Speak only good of your mother.

Be the best mother you can be. Love your kids no matter what. They need your love, no matter how old they are. Tell your kids how proud you are of them.

A Tale of Two Audiences

I delivered two talks this week and the results were miles apart. I learned a good lesson from the first one.
I was hired to give a talk at a dinner for a women's group last Wednesday and a Conference group on Thursday. The focus of the women's group was a social dinner to close out their season. I happened to be the speaker. Chatty women,sitting at round tables (some had their backs to me),eating dinner, enjoying a glass of wine or two do not make the most attentive of audiences. I was talking over a constant drone of conversation most of the time. Next time I will make my talk brief and hard hitting.
I got a lot of good feedback from those who listened but I felt it was a struggle the whole way.
Yesterday I spoke at a breakout session at the LI Library Conference, held at the Crest Hollow Country Club. Over 300 attended, (about 100 more that the sponsor had anticipated). I had them in the palm of my hand the entire time. It was one of the best audiences I've ever addressed. I even got a chance to be funny, reacting to the input from the folks. The feedback was enthusiastic as evidenced by my book sales and email signups.
It was indeed a Tale of Two Audiences. I've learned my lesson.

Forgiveness - Two Sides

Have mercy. Be open to forgiving, that is, asking for and granting forgiveness.
Why harbor a grudge? Nobody's perfect. Why let your family be split apart by stubbornness or a misunderstanding? Be the one to take the first step to begin the healing. Life is too short. Soften your position.
Forgive. Ask for forgiveness.

That was my "Aha Moment" for 5/4/11... This was a response I got.

"I have forgiven so many times only to be used and abused and mistreated
time and time again. He is an addict - and an alcoholic.
If the person you are forgiving will not get help to change, you will
spend a lifetime forgiving and staying in the vacuum which sucks you dry.
Sometimes forgiving is not the answer to preserve your own health and
well being. Sometimes you just need to walk away."

My response was:

You have hit on the other side of it. I agree. Forgiving doesn't mean being taken advantage of or being stepped on and walked over. Sometimes it means moving on with a clear conscience.

Your Natural State of Mind

We all have a Natural State of Mind. It's the place where peace, tranquility, solutions to problems, creativity, genius and serenity reside. Sounds like a good place, huh? It's the place we want to go when we notice the uncomfortable feeling of stress coming on. Imagine if we could access this place at will. How much less stress would we experience.
To be able to access this place when we need it we must first practice being in our Natural State of Mind. In order to experience more of those beautiful things we must intentionally go there. We go there by sitting quietly and breathing. We go there through the practice of meditation.
Our Natural State of Mind is available to all of us, but we must want to go there and we must practice being there. Let this blog be your invitation to the blissful state of your Natural State of Mind.

St. Francis of Assisi

Last week's "Aha Moment" was based on a quote from St. Francis of Assisi, one of the most beloved Catholic Saints. It goes like this, "In Medieval times the followers of St. Francis wanted to know what to do when they took to the streets. 'Tell everybody about the love of God,' St. Francis advised. 'If necessary, use words'".
I mentioned this to a priest I was speaking to this week. He said he had that quote on a plaque on his office wall. His wording was slightly different. His said, "Preach the Gospel. If necessary use words". The meaning is the same. We show our love for God by showing love to our neighbors.
Who are our neighbors? Well, in addition to those who live near us, it is everyone else: those we run into during the day: the guy at the gas station, the girl who fills our bagel order, the guy who cuts us off on the highway, the woman struggling with her groceries while wheeling two little ones around, those who seem to have more than us, those who seem to have less than us... and on and on and on. It's everyone.
Incorporating this concept into our daily lives is a great way to help us stay in the moment. Smile, be courteous, practice the Golden Rule. Tell everyone about the love of God by your actions. Let there be no doubt about it. Leave everyone you meet uplifted by having run into you. Your troubles will fade as you spread God's love. You were chosen to be His messenger.

A Happy Easter

I spent Easter Sunday with my son, Lou, his wife, Colleen and their baby girl, Ella. The entire day was a total delight. It started with an early morning drive from Long Island to MA. Then, spending time with my son and his family. What a good son his is, as are my other son and my daughter. I am indeed blessed to have such fabulous kids. They are bright, talented, articulate, successful and loving. I could not ask for more.
My son, Lou and his family live on a beautiful street inhabited by it seems family after family with young kids. Their tradition is to have an Easter Egg Hunt on Easter morning at about ll:30. The whole block participated, parents providing and hiding colorful plastic eggs filled with goodies and kids waiting patiently inside until the appointed hour when the hunt began.
It was an opportunity for my son and his wife to meet many of theie new neighbors, havng been shut in most of the cold, stormy winter with their infant. The whole event was a warm, friendly experience. It was such an example of what can happen in a community when a few folks take the initiative to make something good happen. So often we wait for the other guy to get the thing started.
Photos were taken, dogs petted, mimosa's drunk (in moderation) eggs found and a great spirit of community was experienced by the whole block. What a nice place to live.
I think I'll organize a party for my neighbors real soon.

Quietly Serving

Over the years through my association with many different groups I have noticed something inspiring that I want to bring up here. I have seen many, many good people doing good for others in their communities quietly, without any fanfare or applause.
These are people who take their free time and volunteer. It might be at the local food pantry, the local VA Hospital or nursing home. They may never get an award, but that's not what they are looking for. They just quietly do good for others, giving of their time and talent so that someone else's life might be better.

As Mother Teresa said, "We are not all called to do great things. Rather, we are all called to do things with great love."

A Beautiful Spring Thought

Where You Tend a Rose, A Thistle Cannot Grow
Frances Hogson Burnett
The Secret Garden

We live in a world full of thistles and we must spend a lot of effort navigating through them. Tending roses, literally and figuratively, takes effort too. But it’s a different kind of effort, one that is energizing and enlightening. We can create beauty wherever we go, whether it’s a smile, a friendly greeting, a truly looking at someone, or just a mindful moment.

As we tend our roses we cultivate all that is good in the world: thoughtful focus, loving kindness, reaching out in word and deed, reaching into ourselves to find our own answers. These kind of actions extricate us from the briar patch of our lives and remind us that life is worth, not only living, but enjoying.

With a heartfelt wish that you genuinely enjoy your Spring!

This came to me from Dr. Duffy Spencer, a social psychologist from Nassau County. Check her out at her website, www.DrDuffy.com. She sends out an occaional thought like this. Sign up and get her uplifting insights in your email box. She interviewed me a couple of years ago on her radio show, "Just Relationships". You can tune in to her show on WHPC, 90.3 on Wednesday 3:30pm, Friday 11:00am and on Sunday at 9:30am.

Thanks Dr. Duffy. Keep up the good work.